Does your tongue speak life?
“Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it would give grace to those who hear.” —Ephesians 4
Today I read these beautiful, convicting quotes about the power of our words as wives and moms by Jess Vana of Your Happiest Home (paraphrased):
“Many women demand respect, but when they feel hurt, threatened, or simply disagree, they are the first ones to throw their own standard out the window and behave disrespectfully toward their own husbands.
Can your husband tell you ‘no’ or offer you helpful critique? Can you behave respectfully if he makes a mistake or has different priorities than you? When your husband asks you to do something, are you quick, cheerful, and thorough in your response to him? Are you a sweetheart, a blessing, and a delight to his days?
Respect during a day of peace is pretty easy, but in conflict, what are some ways we wives can show respect? Words: ‘Yes, sir. I’m happy to!’ Or, ‘Thank you for sharing. I’ll try to be more mindful of that next time.’
Imagine how many fights, arguments, and dramatic flare-ups could be squelched in a moment by a respectful, humble, teachable attitude from a loving, Spirit-filled wife. Remember, ‘A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears hers down with her own two hands.’
The women I know who are the most treasured by their husbands, celebrated in their homes, and cherished by their children are the women who have gracefully learned to love God’s commands. These women see respecting their husband not as something to resent but as a beautiful path towards love, joy, and peace. A woman who can be soft, loving, nurturing, and pleasantly respectful is one who is a DELIGHT to live with and truly, her husband’s crown.”
We want our homes to be full of joy, not tension; grace, not judgment over every mistake we see. We want to speak kindly of ourselves and each other—not voice disapproval about our family’s lives and other people’s choices.
Highlighting one good example is more impactful than 1,000 bad ones, so let’s start lifting up positive role models and behaviors instead of less exemplary ones—praising the good instead of magnifying the worst.
How to become women of gracious speech:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” —Philippians 4
We MUST be the doorkeepers over our thoughts and hearts if we expect our tongues to bless those around us. Why? Because our words reflect our heart. Jesus Himself said this about the tongue:
“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” —Matthew 12
We will be held accountable for every word we speak, so let’s speak life. The above passages of Scriptures show us 3 ways we can become life-speakers:
Be joyful and grateful (not critical/complaining)
Focus on the good in life & people ♥♥
Pray to release anxiety (don’t fret or try to control outcomes)
This list is so encouraging and shows us that the pathway to peace is joy, gratitude, staying positive, and prayer > worry!
How can we get help in this area?
Find an accountability partner and pray the Holy Spirit helps us control our tongues.
Read the book of James to learn why speaking life is so vital to having a blessed life, great relationships, and being a woman God esteems.
Put up daily reminders to PRAY instead of verbalizing our frustrations. Then release our anxieties to God, instead of trying to change people via our words.
With His help, we can all be women who speak life and are “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (James 1).